I was walking around downtown today looking at clothes that won't fit me. I was crossing the street and a couple holding hands was walking the opposite way, passing me. I could feel them staring at my body. Walking around the city, it seems people can't help but stare at my stomach. Kind of like if you see a midget or a tranny who needs to try harder to pull off their look--you can't help but take it in for a second. Get pregnant sometime and you will see what I mean. Anyway, I am past the cute stage of pregnancy, and am on to the gross one where my stomach sticks straight out and I walk like an idiot.
Back to crossing the street: I tried to meet the gaze of the couple looking at my body so that I could confront them with my eyes, and when I did I realized that is was JUSTIN BIEBER AND SELENA GOMEZ! I gasped and they smiled at me. I think they liked being recognized. They are very tiny people. Selena Gomez walked with THE most irritating spring in her step.
My sister said I should have asked to take a picture with them. I was too confused! The only other celeb I've seen in Philly was Danny Bonaduce. He was on a motorcycle and I gave him a dirty look and he gave me one back. If I would have been quicker, I would have reminded Justin and Selena that they shouldn't have unprotected, pre-marital sex or else sweet, tiny, perky Selena could end up like me, all fat and sweaty.