Friday, August 19, 2011

Celebrity Sighting!

I was walking around downtown today looking at clothes that won't fit me. I was crossing the street and a couple holding hands was walking the opposite way, passing me. I could feel them staring at my body. Walking around the city, it seems people can't help but stare at my stomach. Kind of like if you see a midget or a tranny who needs to try harder to pull off their look--you can't help but take it in for a second. Get pregnant sometime and you will see what I mean. Anyway, I am past the cute stage of pregnancy, and am on to the gross one where my stomach sticks straight out and I walk like an idiot.

Back to crossing the street: I tried to meet the gaze of the couple looking at my body so that I could confront them with my eyes, and when I did I realized that is was JUSTIN BIEBER AND SELENA GOMEZ! I gasped and they smiled at me. I think they liked being recognized. They are very tiny people. Selena Gomez walked with THE most irritating spring in her step.

My sister said I should have asked to take a picture with them. I was too confused! The only other celeb I've seen in Philly was Danny Bonaduce. He was on a motorcycle and I gave him a dirty look and he gave me one back. If I would have been quicker, I would have reminded Justin and Selena that they shouldn't have unprotected, pre-marital sex or else sweet, tiny, perky Selena could end up like me, all fat and sweaty.


  1. I've seen Cameron Diaz on Walnut Street, filming a movie ("In Her Shoes"). I've seen David Morse during his "Hack" TV series years, in a restaurant just off South Street. I think he was with his daughter and her friends for the daughter's birthday. He looked bored and tall. And I've seen Joseph R. Gannascoli, the "gay Soprano," on 9th Street. I never would have recognized him, but South Philly people kept shouting, "Look! It's the gay Sopranow! It's Vitow, the gay Sopranow!"

  2. And of course I've seen Chubby Checker. If you hang around the corner of 9th and Christian long enough, everyone sees Chubby Checker, still doing that damn twist.