I need to first point out that she asked me to not blog about her. I told her that I was going to anyway, so don't worry, it's all on the level.
Anyway, my sister wants to have her baby immediately and decided that she would try giving herself diarrhea. Her logic is that her irritated GI tract would communicate with her uterus and labor would begin. Here's how I imagine that conversation would play out:
GI TRACT: Hey! Hey you!
UTERUS: I'm busy, go away.
GI TRACT: I've got something to say!
UTERUS: Yikes, you smell bad.
GI TRACT: Oh, yeah? Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?
UTERUS: Um, nothing really. I just have a lot going on right now and am a little indifferent towards you. You should get that checked out though.
GI TRACT: Thanks for nothing!!!
SCENE
So, basically, my sister put cream in her coffee and had to get up with hot shits in the middle of the night. I think we can all agree on one thing: MY SISTER IS AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!
Christ, chris....I am still trying to figure out shopping farts....or hungry farts....anyway. this was awesomely gross...
ReplyDeleteI induced my labor with diarrhea, via castor oil. Labor is tiring enough, even without 24 hours of gastric distress. I don't recommend it, but I might do it again anyway if I was feeling as desperate as I was. Godspeed that baby!
ReplyDeleteTerry: it's shopping stomach. It is the condition in which you are doing any sort of shopping and you suddenly have bad toots or have an urgent need to have a bad poop.
ReplyDeleteAriana: Castor oil when you are overdue is one thing, my sister was only 36, almost 37 weeks when she had this idea--and she was going to use a diet heavy on dairy to do it. She historically DOES NOT have a stomach for very much dairy. Plus she works full-time and has a long commute AND has to share a bathroom at work. Yuck.
What in the world?!
ReplyDelete